The Summer of 35

A Year Held Together by God This year has been nothing short of surreal. I look back and I can’t help but feel an overwhelming mix of gratitude, disbelief, and quiet awe. A few days ago, I finished reading the Bible, and the moment I closed that final page, something inside me stilled. It felt like the fullness of the journey settled into my spirit all at once. The entire year unfolded in front of me—every high, every dip, every moment I didn’t think I would make it through. And in all of it, the common thread was grace. Pure, unfiltered, undeserved grace. The Weight of the Year I won’t sugarcoat it I'm tired. Deeply tired. My body is tired, my mind is tired, and my spirit has carried weight after weight this year. There were days where I felt stretched thin, days where the pressure demanded more than I thought I had, days where I was convinced I had nothing left to give. And yet, when I reflect, I see so many moments where strength came from places I didn’t even know existed. ...

  Stepping Into the Life I Prayed For Surreal. That’s the only word that fits right now. The life I dreamt of, the one I worked for in faith, in tears, in discipline, in doubt, is slowly coming together. And I’m standing here feeling both happy and nervous in the same breath. I keep asking myself, “Am I ready? Am I capable? Am I worthy?” But even with those questions whispering at the back of my mind, my spirit refuses to sit still. My stance remains firm: I’m getting in anyway. I can’t sit back and let fear rob me of what I’ve prayed for. I can’t let my emotions dictate my destiny. The rooms I’m in today… Nothing could have prepared me for them. Nothing. So there was never a way for me to arrive “ready.” God positioned me, and now I’m learning to walk in that positioning with grace, humility, and courage. Embracing the Unknown The truth is, preparation can only take you so far. Some seasons require more willingness than readiness. And I’m willing. Excited. Open. Soft enou...

The Beauty in Becoming Today’s struggles will always reap tomorrow’s fruits and lessons; that’s something I’m learning to hold close. Yesterday was one of those chaotic, emotional days that felt like a divine reminder of purpose. I had an exam to write and, on the very same day, I was invited to give an alumni speech at a graduation event for a program I didn’t even complete. It felt ironic at first, standing on that stage as someone who didn’t finish the journey like others did. But it was also humbling. I had kept in touch with the people there and left the program on mutually understood terms. So, when they reached out, I knew this wasn’t a coincidence; it was grace. Sometimes, God places you back in rooms you thought you had outgrown just to remind you that your value was never tied to completion, but to contribution. Divine Reconnection This year, I went through a difficult time, one of those quiet storms that shakes your confidence and makes you question your strength. In t...

The Promise of Better A new era is here. The promise of better has arrived, not in grand gestures or sudden breakthroughs, but through quiet, steady steps. The kind that often go unnoticed but always count. When I look back, I see that every small effort, every hesitant leap, every tear, and every prayer brought me here. Growth rarely feels like progress while you’re in it. It’s slow, messy, and filled with moments that test your faith in yourself and in God. But today, standing here, I can say this with peace in my heart — I’m happy to be here. To be present in my own journey. To witness my evolution. To know that I dared to step beyond the safety of my comfort zone. The Gift of Believing There’s a certain magic in believing in yourself, not in a loud, boastful way, but in the quiet knowing that you can. I’ve done things I once thought were impossible for me. I’ve chased dreams I didn’t feel worthy of and learned that the act of believing is, in itself, a reward. Faith in you...

Stepping Into the Room This week, I found myself sitting in a room I had once prayed to be in. You know those moments where you walk in smiling, heart racing, excitement buzzing beneath your skin, only for that sneaky inner voice to whisper, “Are you sure you belong here?” That was me. On Tuesday, I was thrilled, proud, and prepared, yet halfway through, my old self-sabotaging tendencies showed up like uninvited guests. They whispered that I wasn’t worthy, that my essence wasn’t enough, that I didn’t go to university, and that I wasn’t running a wildly successful company. Those thoughts came hard and fast. And the worst part? I almost believed them. The Mirror Talks Back I must’ve gone to the bathroom three or four times, not to escape the room, but to find myself again. Each time, I looked into the mirror and whispered, “Hey, crazy, you belong here. Don’t doubt that. Not even for a second.” There’s something sacred about meeting your own gaze and choosing kindness over criticism...

  Opportunities and Grace Life has a way of opening doors that we once only whispered about in prayer. Opportunities don’t just fall into our laps — they come wrapped in grace, waiting for us to unwrap them with courage. This week, I found myself in rooms I once dreamed of being in, only to realize that stepping into your dream is both a joy and a terror. The Joy and Terror of Being Seen There’s something almost sacred about being seen — really seen. But with that visibility comes the weight of expectation, and the fear of making mistakes grows louder. It’s a delicate balance: wanting to shine while secretly trembling at the thought of stumbling. The Little Girl Meets the Woman Inside me, there is still that little girl — wide-eyed, hopeful, unsure if she truly belongs. And then there’s the woman I am becoming, the one who longs to see her visions materialized, who aches to step fully into her calling. This week, those two parts of me clashed, and it was as if they were both ...

  When Friday Slips Away I meant to write my blog on Friday, but somehow the day slipped away. Fridays tend to do that — they carry the weight of anticipation, the sweet promise of two days meant for rest and recoup. By the time the weekend calls, all I can think about is pausing, breathing, and simply being. Leaning Into the Ebbs and Flows Even though I’m writing this on a Monday instead, I’m happy I’m doing it now. I’ve started leaning into the natural ebbs and flows of life, instead of fighting them. Progress doesn’t always arrive wrapped neatly in perfect timing. It’s not a straight, linear growth chart — it’s curves, dips, and surprising climbs. And I’m learning to love that rhythm. Joy in Imperfect Consistency Today, I’m celebrating the steps taken, no matter how imperfect they feel. I’m leaning into the joy of progress itself, instead of clinging to the idea that consistency must look flawless. Growth is not about perfection, but about choosing to keep moving, even when...

A Week of Milestones and Emotions This week has been a whole week for me. I got older, I completed a six-week program, and I cried about turning another year older while still feeling like I’m not “there” yet. You know that place,the invisible milestone in your head that whispers, “By this age, I should have…” It’s a familiar ache, and it caught up with me hard this week. But even in my tears, I realized something precious: mental stability is a gem. It’s better than gold and richer than any wealth the world can give. Without peace of mind, all the riches mean nothing. With peace of mind, even the smallest progress feels like abundance. Learning to Be My Own Savior I’m learning that I must be my own savior in many ways. Not in the divine sense, God is God, and He reigns, but in the practical sense of choosing to show up for myself. I must prioritize my mental health and stability. I must love me more than I desire to be loved by people,or even by God. That might sound controver...

When the Journey Feels Heavier Today feels somber, like we all woke up to remind ourselves that the journey is tougher than we anticipated. Hard doesn’t mean God is absent. Hard doesn’t mean the dreams you once dreamt weren’t divine. Tough simply means the road requires fortitude, and not everyone has the willpower to walk it through. That’s where the decision lies—who do you become when the count gets real? A Tough Conversation Yesterday Yesterday, I had a conversation that left me feeling overwhelmed, tangled in inadequacy, with self-doubt creeping in louder and prouder than ever before. I contemplated going back to old vices because for a long time, that felt like “home.” It was the safe place where I could harbor bitterness, host pity parties for my trauma, and feed the pain quietly. But sitting in that space yesterday, I realized it was never really safe. It was familiar, yes, but not safe. Familiar doesn’t heal. Familiar often keeps you circling. The conversation echoed wh...

A Season of Light This week has been God’s light shining on me heavily and unapologetically. There’s a sweetness in the air, a rhythm that feels divinely aligned. I woke up feeling happy, aware, and excited. More than ever, I’m recognizing both my blind spots and my strengths. And with that awareness comes gratitude—because God has been good, and He remains good always. Days are never the same; some feel light, others heavy. But the constant truth is this: your goals, your dreams, your purpose they must always move in the direction of the bigger plan you’ve set for yourself. It’s not about perfection; it’s about persistence. Trusting the Process ✨ There’s a bigger picture behind every step we take. Trusting the process is not some simple motivational slogan that whispers, “Oh, you can do it, and it will all work out.” No, it’s much deeper than that. Trusting the process is a declaration. It’s proof that consistency works. It’s a reminder to stay the course even when you’re tired,...

A Week of Divine Radiance This week has been nothing short of breathtaking. I’ve felt God’s light shine on me heavily, unapologetically, and with a brilliance that is impossible to ignore. There are days when life feels uncertain, and then there are days like this when everything aligns, when blessings overflow, and when joy feels like it’s wrapped around me like a warm embrace. I am happy today. Not the fleeting, shallow kind of happy, but a deep, soul-stirring joy that comes from knowing I am seen, guided, and protected. Happiness, for me, this week has been tied to awareness  of who I am, where I stand, and who I am becoming. Awareness of Blind Spots and Strengths One of the most beautiful gifts God gives us is clarity. This week, I’ve been reminded of the power of self-awareness. I’ve been able to look closely at my blind spots ,the areas I’ve often ignored, overlooked, or struggled with. Instead of seeing them as flaws, I now recognize them as opportunities for growth. E...

This week has felt hopeful  and generous with love, grace, and possibility. I feel deeply in love with the journey I’m on. I’m excited about it, empowered to move with its flow, and accepting of its curves and unexpected turns. There’s a certain beauty in surrendering to the process, trusting that even the detours are part of the design. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the story of Joseph in the Bible, a narrative so layered with pain, perseverance, and divine purpose that it always moves me. Joseph was his father Jacob’s beloved son, gifted with dreams that foretold his destiny. But his own brothers, driven by jealousy, sold him into slavery. Imagine the betrayal being torn away from family and everything familiar, all because of the very gift that God had placed inside him. From there, Joseph’s life seemed to move from one trial to another. In Egypt, he served faithfully in Potiphar’s house, only to be falsely accused and imprisoned. For over a decade, Joseph’s life was defin...

A Mother's Love, My Anchor I love God. I love my mother. She is my visible strength, my comforter. In her beautiful humanness, I see the evidence of unconditional love. These days, she says “I love you” out loud and every time she does, it melts something in me. I remember when she didn’t know how to say those words. Perhaps because she had never heard them enough herself. For years, I said, “I love you, Mom,” whether I felt it or not. Not out of pretense, but in faith so that God would soften her heart to receive and understand the impact of love expressed in words. That intention, that prayer, has come full circle. Her strength, resilience, and sacrifices have shaped me in ways I can never fully articulate. Our relationship wasn’t always sweet, but it was real, and her presence in my life is still felt, still needed. She has been there, and because of that I am. The Absent Father, The Lingering Echoes God reflects both the mother and father presence in our lives. But if I’m...

These past few weeks have been deeply reflective and healing for me. I made the intentional decision to step back from posting content—not because I lacked ideas, but because I needed to catch up with myself. Sometimes we get so caught up in producing, performing, and showing up for others that we forget to show up for ourselves . That’s where I’ve been—realizing that I was pouring from an almost empty cup. So instead of forcing the flow, I surrendered. The pause wasn’t failure. It was fuel. It was a quiet reminder that growth still happens in silence, and that healing doesn’t always need an audience. Rest is not laziness—it is strategy. It is grace. I used this time to reflect on who I’ve been, who I’m becoming, and what I want to carry forward. This journey isn’t easy, but I’m learning to trust the process and love the softer, slower moments too. I’m grateful for the clarity, and I’m grateful for you—my community, my readers, my mirror. We’re growing, even when we’re still. I l...

There’s something I realized this week. Something about myself that’s both uncomfortable and undeniably true . Food has become my best friend. Not in a “foodie” way, or because I love cooking, or because I’m exploring new flavors. No. This feels… different. It’s the way I turn to food even when I’m not hungry. It’s the way I eat when I’m anxious. When I’m bored. When I’m celebrating. When I’m just existing. Sometimes, food is just there , and that’s reason enough. A Quiet Realization It hit me, one quiet day at home. I was watching movies. Nothing intense, just relaxing. But for some reason, I couldn’t stop eating . Not snacks. Full meals. One after another. I wasn’t hungry—but I kept eating. Like a compulsion. As if chewing and swallowing would distract me from… something. By the end of the night, I was full. Not just satisfied. Stuffed. And still—I went for two slices of bread. Not because I needed them, but because I thought: What if I wake up at night and feel h...

Not Just Survival—But Passionate Living The kind of love you develop for the process is different from just tolerating your circumstances or “hanging in there.” It’s not the same as survival or showing up simply because you have to. It’s a deep, rich, intoxicating commitment to growth—and to yourself. I’ve always desired more than just existence. More than just getting through the day or checking things off a list. I want to be purposefully aligned with my goals. I want to look at my life and feel like, yes, this is mine, and I love it. I live for the days when I’m completely overwhelmed—not by chaos, but by the dreams I once longed for finally becoming my reality. That pressure to show up… it would be exhilarating. Scary? Sure. But deeply fulfilling. Because even with the weight of responsibility, I know I’d still go. I’d still show up. I’d still honor that version of myself. More Than A Paycheck Working just to make a living has never been a remedy that worked for me. There’...

A deep reflection on place, purpose, and the lie of the savior complex. The Hood Is Heavy There’s something deeply unsettling about the “hood”—not just the geography of it, but the spirit it carries. I live in the hood. It’s loud. It’s bitter. It’s angry. And more often than not, it’s dangerous—not only to the body, but to the soul. The fruits are the same, over and over again: scarcity, jealousy, gossip, violence, and trauma dressed up as toughness. You feel it in the streets. You hear it in the casual cruelty of neighbors. And somehow, you’re just expected to adapt . But I can’t romanticize the hood. Not today. Because what I see is a system that was engineered to break people down—and sadly, it's doing just that. A Short History: How the Townships Were Designed Let’s be clear: black people didn’t choose the hood— the system chose it for us. South African townships, where the majority of black communities still reside, were a product of apartheid’s violent spatial pl...

A soft reminder to rest and reflect. Waking Up with Joy Hey, yourself. This week has been amazing , hey? I woke up each day excited, ready to face the morning with an open heart. My mind felt clear—lighter, even—and there was no anxiety clouding my vision. Just peace. Just presence. It’s been a long time since I felt this in my body. Like I’m finally breathing again after holding it in for months. I allowed myself the luxury of rest and the tenderness of reflection—and that, in itself, felt like a miracle. Facing the Exhaustion I'd Been Ignoring I realised something this week: I hadn’t given myself the space to truly process life —its weight, its surprises, its pressures. I’ve been in motion for so long, running from one task to the next, that I forgot what stillness felt like. That caught up with me. It showed up in my face. In my attitude. In my spirit. I was exhausted, bestie. And when exhaustion lingers long enough, it doesn’t just wear you down—it changes you. It beco...

To the woman I am, and the one I am still becoming. The Beauty in My Strength My strength sometimes amazes me. There are days when I feel overwhelmed, unsure, or lost—yet somehow, I keep showing up. And when others reflect back to me the strength they see—when they say things like, “You inspire me” or “You’re doing well” —it stops me in my tracks. Because they’re seeing something I often miss in myself. And that teaches me a powerful lesson: perspective matters . I thank God for this journey. Not just the victories, but the stillness, the confusion, and the surrender. I’ve learned that sometimes the most important work isn’t in the doing—but in the revising , the resting , the re-strategizing . I want to live a life I’m excited about—a life full of purpose, joy, energy, and peace . I don’t want to be constantly tired, burdened, and bitter. That’s not the life I believe God wants for me either. The Quiet Pull of God's Presence This week, God reminded me of His peace—the kind ...

This week, I’ve been noticeably quiet on social media. I didn’t feel the need to post, to show up online, or to prove that I’m still working toward something. I’ve simply needed silence—a moment to step back and reflect on what truly matters. And in that stillness, I’ve found something I haven’t felt in a long time: peace. For the first time in a long time, I feel more at ease with my decisions than I ever did during the intense grind of the last five years. Those years were filled with hustle, ideas, pushing, pulling, overthinking, trying—and sometimes failing—to make everything happen all at once. It’s been exhausting, and the pressure I placed on myself was constant and loud. But this week? My mind feels lighter. My chest isn’t tight with anxiety. There’s a softness in how I speak to myself. I no longer feel like I’m behind, racing, or missing out. I’ve accepted that change is okay. Redirection is divine. Starting over is still progress. And this new direction I’m choosing feels r...