Blog 22: A Love Letter to Myself

To the woman I am, and the one I am still becoming.

The Beauty in My Strength

My strength sometimes amazes me.
There are days when I feel overwhelmed, unsure, or lost—yet somehow, I keep showing up. And when others reflect back to me the strength they see—when they say things like, “You inspire me” or “You’re doing well”—it stops me in my tracks. Because they’re seeing something I often miss in myself. And that teaches me a powerful lesson: perspective matters.

I thank God for this journey. Not just the victories, but the stillness, the confusion, and the surrender. I’ve learned that sometimes the most important work isn’t in the doing—but in the revising, the resting, the re-strategizing. I want to live a life I’m excited about—a life full of purpose, joy, energy, and peace. I don’t want to be constantly tired, burdened, and bitter. That’s not the life I believe God wants for me either.



The Quiet Pull of God's Presence

This week, God reminded me of His peace—the kind of peace that surpasses all understanding. I’ve seen clearly how, when I move outside His guidance, I end up toiling with little return. I don’t want my rebellion—my stubbornness, my resistance to yielding—to make me unfaithful before God.

Rebellion isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it looks like trying to lead your life on your own, convinced you can force outcomes or manipulate God’s hand. Sometimes, it’s giving your heart and mind over to other "gods"—distractions, obsessions, idols—while still expecting God to bless the chaos.

Relearning Surrender

My stubbornness has been my downfall. I’ve walked around tired, bitter, and angry—not because God failed me, but because I was leading myself. And that’s a heavy burden. I was trying to do God's job in my own life, and the cost was high: my joy, my energy, my peace.

I needed to stop. Immediately.
I had a vision of what my life could look like in five years if I kept moving this way: a single, "strong woman" with no softness, no partner, just endless hustling and no deep joy. That’s not my dream.

This “I can do it all by myself” narrative? It’s harmful. It robs us of God’s sovereignty, His provision, and His partnership. Yes, I am strong—but I am not God. I don’t want to do this life alone.

Choosing Divine Direction Over Self-Reliance

So here I am. Choosing differently. I’ve surrendered the illusion of control. I’m no longer interested in just surviving. I want a life that blooms in purpose, partnership, and peace. I want a life that reflects God's grace, not just my effort.

To the woman I’m becoming:
Keep softening, keep surrendering, and keep trusting.
You are not alone.
You are not behind.
And your surrender is not weakness—it’s worship.

To anyone reading this, I pray you feel the rush of your own spiritual 360. May you listen when God is calling you back to Him, and may you be bold enough to stop the cycle of burnout and turn toward peace.

Amen.


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