Blog 27: Of Mothers, Healing, and Becoming


A Mother's Love, My Anchor
I love God. I love my mother. She is my visible strength, my comforter. In her beautiful humanness, I see the evidence of unconditional love. These days, she says “I love you” out loud and every time she does, it melts something in me. I remember when she didn’t know how to say those words. Perhaps because she had never heard them enough herself.

For years, I said, “I love you, Mom,” whether I felt it or not. Not out of pretense, but in faith so that God would soften her heart to receive and understand the impact of love expressed in words. That intention, that prayer, has come full circle.

Her strength, resilience, and sacrifices have shaped me in ways I can never fully articulate. Our relationship wasn’t always sweet, but it was real, and her presence in my life is still felt, still needed. She has been there, and because of that I am.



The Absent Father, The Lingering Echoes
God reflects both the mother and father presence in our lives. But if I’m being honest, the absence of a father figure in my life left a deep wound. I wasn’t raised by my father. I never felt the safety, time, or unconditional love that should have come from that relationship.

That absence echoed loudly through rejection, abandonment, and the silent ache of not being chosen. It shaped how I viewed men, how I braced myself for them to leave. It became a part of my emotional DNA.

The Road to Healing
One day, I acted so irrationally, and the aftermath cracked me open. That was the day I realized I hadn’t healed from the root.

My healing journey was not linear. It was rugged, raw, and brutally honest. In my 20s, I hid behind “I’m okay” and “I’ll survive.” I buried my hurt in surface-level mantras and defiant declarations. But my 30s demanded more accountability, maturity, introspection.

Healing became necessary. I had to pull that trauma out by its roots. I had to be still and meet myself in the dark so I could walk forward in light.

Grace in Becoming
Today, I’m not perfect, but I’m present. I am aware of my triggers not just in relationships, but in how I navigate life. I know what I’m healing from, and I know the power of making different choices.

I love myself now, and that love comes from a place of truth and self-awareness. My strength, bravery, and resilience sometimes astonish me.

There were many moments when I considered taking an easier way out roads that would’ve dulled the pain, numbed the heart. But I stayed. Because I desire more for my life.

To You, With Love
If you’re reading this, I hope you desire more for yourself too.
I hope you choose healing.
I hope you forgive those who couldn't love you the way you needed.
And I hope you love yourself enough to keep growing through it all.

Amen.
To mothers, to healing, to becoming.


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